We have some forms of communication as humans, so it is also in marriage.
Here are few types of communication:
1. ORAL COMMUNICATION
In every marriage it is expected that both parties talk to each in clear teams regardless how reserved or extrovert one is or both are.
Marriage is not an institution where one displays his/her gift of quietness.
Couples must talk to each other about their pains, worries, fears, ambitions, admirations, visions, ideologies, beliefs etc.
This builds confidence and reaffirms your love for each other. Don’t be too busy or too old to say or write those things. These are ways you service your relationship.
2. BODY LANGUAGE
Body language is a type of nonverbal communication in which physical behaviours, as opposed to words, are used to express or convey information.
Such behaviours include facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and the use of space. Most couples use body language to request for sex from their partner.
This is very common among Christian women who may not verbally ask their husbands for sex but rather use the body language like eye movement, special touch etc.
Sometimes there are issues words cannot express, hence the need to use the body to communicate.
Couples must learn to use the body to communicate to each other to complement the oral communication.
3. SPIRITUAL (PRAYER, STUDIES, FELLOWSHIP)
As Christian couples, communicating to each other spiritually cannot be overemphasis.
Sharing our revelations, dreams and visions either positive or negative is as important as praying together on them.
Before a third party is invited to pray on an issue relating to one of the partner, both must have first pray together on the same issue. Couples should pray together, fast together, study together, fellowship together, evangelize together etc.
Most African lovers and couples undermine the place of romantic languages.
In some homes, from January to December some husbands and wives may not hug or kiss each other. Even during sexual intercourse it is in and out, no foreplay, no pre-sex activities.
To appropriately communicate to an average woman, she needs approximately 13 meaningful touches daily. Those touches communicate an assurance of love and security to her mind.
Touching that communicates love, care, affection and approval must not be scarce in a marriage relationship. Each touch may carry a different meaning, touch on the forehead may mean something different from a touch on the waist etc.
5. MATERIAL COMMUNICATION
When you buy her earrings, you have communicated to her. When you get him a boxer or a belt you have told him you care. Even God, anytime he demonstrates love he gives out something.
Sometimes it isn’t the quantity or quality of what we give to each other but what it communicates to each other. Most times N200 earrings given in love can be more meaningful than a fleet of cars.
6. EMOTIONAL COMMUNICATION
Sometimes she smiles to give approval or to show consent. We get angry at other times to express displeasure.
Couples must use these tools of communication appropriately to avoid abuse or misuse. Anger not properly managed can prepare ground for divorce. It is very right to get angry at each other to pass a message but it is a disaster to keep anger in such a manner it will mar the relationship.
Emotional management has got a great deal in our relationship with our spouses. Anger, laughter, depression etc can be used to pass vital information to one another. One can be angry without being violent or cruel. Every couple must learn their love languages and utilize them to the best interest of their union.