Review of Mr Eazi’s “Hollup” by Kendzi Ekene Uzondu


So I watched the video of Mr. Eazi’s “Hollup”, and I never knew he was the one that was given that catchy beat by one producer to sing over, if singing is what you call that. Hippos could belch over that beat and the song would be just as good.

I’ve watched the plot of the video several times: Girl meets guy, girl doesn’t know he is an artiste, girl shuns guy, girl later finds out the guy is an artist, girl suddenly gets smitten by boy and comically regrets turning him down (because being an upcoming artist is a panty-dropper).

(Coughs), I have a couple of questions.


1. What is the lesson from the story: that a lady should accept every guy that solicits her, no reservations, all on the off chance he might be an artiste? Or that upcoming artists should have a sign tattooed to their foreheads – even then? I don’t get why a lady’s rejection of Mr. Eazi should provoke a song and video with all the money that costs. A simple hiss would’ve sufficed – scroll down and call another girl you like. Oga camdan, even Usher Raymond still gets turned down. You think say the world de revolve around your big head or your music career?

2. And the lady’s hysterical reaction when she recognized Mr. Eazi . . . what was that about? Firstly, that was not realistic. Secondly, and again, what’s the lesson here? The lady no longer snobs him, and now has a goof reason to befriend him . . . shouldn’t he be happy about that? That’s what reasonable people do upon new info; they change views and attitude. Why was her newfound attitude vilified? He should be happy that he is getting more recognition, if you ask me, especially given that he seemed to be suffering from a lack of that earlier. Upcoming artists I know are rather handing out CDs and begging you to switch on your Bluetooth so they can send you their latest track, not brushing off groupies.

3. While I’m most certain that the world doesn’t revolve the lady’s bumbum at the moment, that is not impossible. If the said Bumbum is of a mass greater than that of the earth and is at optimal distance from the earth, it could create a centripetal force with gravity that’d make the earth’s centrifugal force keep it in revolution around the Bumbum. These can all be determined using Newton’s equations on gravity. But Mr. Eazi fails to provide the mass or distance of the bumbum from earth, making the question he loops in song an open-ended one. This is his most grievous offense in my opinion. I could excuse the vainglory that makes him pester and harass an unwilling a poor girl he met in an elevator and his castigation of her eager adulation for a performing artist, but you don’t jumble up Newtonian physics just so you can get back at girl for snubbing you . . . who hasn’t experienced that?

Mr. Eazi is a great artiste but if he really wants to make a difference in the Nigeria music scene then he should take cognisance of every little detail in his art ,including his videos .